i am currently at this point of my life where my lone existence has finally painfully started to seethe its way into my thick head...
and in some weird sadistic manner..im starting to enjoy it..
ive started to develop a liking for the vacancy of not having people around to bug me..and the very thought itself that used to torment me...has now become comfort.
and just when i started getting used to it...here comes the sun..ugh!
...*trapped in guilt and remorse*......
i do wanna feel happy....but am just not sure.......part of me just wants to be alone...i was starting to feel happy alone
and it is sooo ironic how u can get addicted to depression itself...is there a word for that...
everyone is goin ooon and ooon about how warm and fuzzy they are feeling and i just hate it...these wines of envy start crawling up on me everytime...
"and u know what he said...can u beleive it??...he's soooooooo cute!!"
....like i cared
god im such a hypocrite.....
ive just lost myself soooooo bad...its like having to rebuild an entire castle without the slightest idea of how wit looked like before it broke....
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